I am LOVING ownership of my spa, Sensorielle. It has been such a blessing, and also highly challenging...I'm always up for a good challenge...always inviting more of that from the universe. Pay-what-you-can has been exactly as we envisioned. Lots of people coming consistently, lots of new clients, and regulars are paying the regular price and sometimes more! Yay! WE ROCK!

I just need to continue filling our schedule with happy blissed-out clients, and get the word out. A great way to do that is to be voted Best of Boulder in our local paper. We have won an honorable mention for the past few years. Help us get actually voted as Best of Boulder!!! Anyone can vote, and you don't need to vote for every category!

Voting ends at the end of March. Cast your vote for us!

Go to the Boulder Weekly site and click on the link in red italics in the gray box near the top to vote: http://www.boulderweekly.com

write in Sensorielle Spa for
Alternative Health Care Provider

Vote for Sensorielle for

best day spa
best massage
best skincare
...etc...

I didn't see acupuncture, but if it's there we do that too!!

i guess i am blowing the dust off the ole livejournal. yesterday was the most amazing birthday EVER. i have the pleasure of announcing that i am the new owner of sensorielle wellbeing spa in boulder. i have some very exciting developments happening with the spa this year and i think our mission of uplifting the human race through pure love, gratitude, and empowerment will be met 100% after our big shift. i am SO excited! so check out my website, http://www.sensoriellespa.com and see what we now have to offer. i will be posting in the next couple weeks our latest news which i can barely contain. well, how about i let you in on it now since you are an old friend.

beginning feb 1, we are changing completely to a "pay-all-you-can" spa. we offer upliftment, healing, love, and sanctuary, and what we ask is there be a monetary exchange, we give all we can give, and we ask that you pay all that you can pay in return. we have a basic price list which lists our suggested value, and from there you decide what you can pay for the service. we will still continue to sell retail in the same structure.

i believe this is a most incredible new outside-the-box revolutionary idea. i have lots of media interest since friday already. it's buzzing in our town, therapists are bursting to share the news with others. we are all very very excited about this!! so wish us lots of luck. we are going forth with blind faith and universal love to this brand new ground, this mission for humanity. we are not a charity mind you. we are simply opening ourselves to the healing of all, and especially today, we all need healing. let us help you with your process, and we too will be sustained in body, mind & spirit.

feb 1 is our "soft" launch, and on march 15, we will have a day long "grand reopening" to honor all of our current clients, and our community.

i welcome comments questions and suggestions. i love you all!

ps - we still really appreciate your january business...if you are planning to wait until feb to come because of our new structure, please call us first, because i am willing to bet our therapists would be fine with seeing you as soon as you want to come. not that many of you are in my town, but just wanted to put that out there.

Date:	2008-02-03 11:13
Subject:	transformation
Security:	Public
Mood:	uncomfortable
Music:	the chatter in my brain

i had the most difficult time meditating today. this has never happened quite so intensely. i was in a constant battle against my mind, my body was in total pain. i could not meditate. i decided to have a mantra "i am at peace, my mind is quiet". i chanted this mantra over and over and still could not end the struggle. it felt like hours. i told myself i am not getting up until i receive a sign of some sort that it's time. i didn't receive a sign. my back got worse and worse and i finally gave up. i looked at the clock and only 20 minutes had passed. i know that even when meditation is difficult my day goes smoother when i do take the time to do it. i feel calm now but i can't believe how hard that was! i understand when people say they "can't" meditate. everybody can but for some it's harder than for others.

maybe my horoscope has something to do with this. i get a daily horoscope by email and checked email after meditation and this is what it said:

Sunday, February 3rd, 2008 PST
Capricorn Horoscope
(Dec 22 - Jan 19)

The Moon will be making a monthly contact with intense Pluto in your sign for the next fifteen years, gradually morphing the foundations upon which you are building your life. The more you resist these powerful transformations, the more difficult they will be. Minimize hardships by being proactive; embrace change instead of wasting energy by fighting it.

Date:	2008-01-18 22:43
Subject:	tired
Security:	Public
Mood:	sleepy

i have the strongest desire to hole up for a while. life is too busy for that though. i am tired. probably just doing too much. life is great. but i could sure use a day off about now :) tomorrow is samAdhi, our monthly event. i am working all day before that. i have picked up an extra shift sunday as well. monday is wesley's bday. i have nothing for him yet :( we are going to denver to our favorite restaurant and meeting his sister and her hubby. tuesday, i will do nothing, that's right absolutely nothing!

Date:	2008-01-15 11:37
Subject:	divine union
Security:	Public
Mood:	content

it's like getting a bar of the finest chocolate there is, and then you have to wait all day. you keep thinking about that first bite, sinking your teeth in, and utterly enjoying the decadent journey your tongue experiences. after dinner, you wait for the food to digest fully because you don't want to spoil that taste with anything, you want your belly to entirely embrace the warm goodness that it brings. and finally the anticipation is over, and you enjoy pure ecstasy. hm, i want chocolate.

Date:	2008-01-13 15:39
Subject:	the endless cycle
Security:	Public
Mood:	amused

i forgot it's my birthday. i forgot until half way through the day. then i remember at lunch. i'm at a craniosacral 1 class, in which i have had a little bit of a release in my throat chakra. something i have been working on for a while. stuff is stirring up for me, really old stuff. and then i remember it's my birthday. the day after my bday, i have a past life experience. i'm not one of those new agey people that believes in that past life stuff 100%. i've always been a skeptic. i've had feelings which i have trusted and the theory of past lives seemed to make sense but me being a skeptic, and having no real experience with it, and being a let the past be in the past type, it never occurred to me to care that there might be something i still hang on to from some other life.

ok so here's where the real funky cliche comes in. doesn't everyone and their mother think that they've been a witch burned at the stake, or beheaded, or hanged? aren't you so sick of hearing it over and over again, oh i was a witch in a past life and they burned me, or blahblahblah. well, i guess i will ahve to say i've gone to the other side. yeah i'm one of those silly freaks who was a witch in a past life. i was hanged. now, here is what i am still trying to figure out. i believe either i actually was a witch and was trying so hard to hide it that i tried to convince myself i really wasn't, OR that i really wasn't a witch (well everyone is a witch really aren't they), but entertain the idea that i wasn't a witch but wrongly hanged. that i really did no witchcraft and that i was accused and hanged as a witch anyway. lots of feelings of bitterness, betrayal, fear, and anger. feeling of having done the right thing but it didn't matter anyway, and eventually irritation and rage. still it isn't completely gone. there wasn't any real time to get into the stuff because of course we are in a class and there is a curriculum.

yeah i was that one crying and writhing on the table. that one in class where you roll your eyes and say "she is just trying to get attention, being overdramatic". i was that one. and it was so so very real, SO real. i was not embarrassed.

find out later that it is my 32nd bday, numerology 5 (can't remember what that means now but it was very synchronous), new moon in capricorn.

today i released again, but today was a tension filled day, last day of class, resentments in the air, a sense of having to rush, just a tense day. it's the end of the day, i'm getting worked on, and i start twitching, still feeling very irritated. i was irritated ALL day long for whatever reason i couldn't pinpoint. twitching, and then the therapist moves and puts her hand on my twitching places, and i start LAUGHING hysterically, loudly and hysterically. laughing deeply from the belly, and my deepest belly is actually crying uncontrollably but what people are hearing is laughing, and it starts to become contagious and everyone is trying not to laugh, and the instructor shushes me which sends me into a quiet rage because i am not allowed to release what wants to come and i am so very close, and have no idea why those feelings are there. and feeling entirely and utterly ashamed and embarrassed. ugh.

yesterday it felt like there was a universal epiphany, a ripple effect, and some level of consciousness on a mass scale shifted. today..... irritation and disappointment. go figure.

so i'm at mom's house now and i have not released, but long story short, my birthday was a real "birth" day this year and i am curious about what the future holds :)

have to sell the house. cant refi fuckin new law, cant afford the payment even working 6 days a week. i feel trapped and hopeless. we are fucked. sold my car for $1000 so now i can fix my broken car. and that is all. i am at a loss......

Date:	2007-08-08 22:31
Subject:	invasion!
Security:	Public
Mood:	surprised

i'm driving home with a car load of groceries and terra in the back. my alternator belt is blown (i'm sure that's what it is because the battery light came on and then there was a belt sound and lots of smoke, rubber smell). my car stalled at the bottom of my hill, but i managed to get it to start again and get home. thank the gods!

i get home and the door is locked...my key isn't on my keyring. wesley must've taken it and didn't tell me. the back door is usually unlocked, so i go around back, up the porch and notice the door is wide open. i think it's just the wind.

then, no shit, there were about 8 or 9 racoons in my kitchen, eating the cat food out of the bag. i chase them out of the house, all except two...one big one who looks at me defiantely like no way you are gonna get ME out of here and another who runs into my living room and climbs the curtain. all the while i'm growling and banging on stuff to get them out. so big meanie just sits there watching, and the little one on the curtains decides he better make a run for it, and escapes. i get a broom and make a real threat with it to get big meanie to leave (nobody got hurt). my poor cat is in the corner hissing and traumatized. after big meanie finally leaves, she runs out too. she comes back about an hour later, and will not stop talking about it!

i've come home before to an open door, just thinking the wind blew it open, but now i have a suspicion these little fuckers have figured out how to open the door. i guess we'll have to lock it from now on and hope we both have a key to the front.

the whole time terra (my 2 year old) is standing outside the front door waiting for me to let her in. man, what a night!!

tonight was awesome. i am still coming down. i'm on call for massage in the morning and i can't go to bed. we did well with attendance and the performances kicked ass. my butoh thing felt really good. i'm really getting into this butoh stuff. i need to study more. anyway, i can't wait for tomorrow...then sunday is boulder international festival. wow, i am so busy. i'm gonna crash monday, but wait theres more! monday is the tortoise show. yippee! well, maybe i can rest in july. so anyway check it out tomorrow if you're in denver, http://www.symbolicinsight.com/transistor

INDIGO in workshop and Summer Solstice Celebration
June 24, 2007

Egyptian Styling and Musical Interpretation
10:00 - 12:00
I BellyDanced for 6 years and loved the music but Classical Egyptian Music was always such a mystery to me. Differing instruments playing rhythms I didn't understand. I had no idea how to dance to such music and was about to give up until I chanced upon the discovery of how to dance to Egyptian Music through workshops with Suhail Kaspar. After this workshop Classical Egyptian music will no longer be a mystery. You will learn how to understand the rhythms and instruments playing. Handouts of a breakdown of the songs we will be dancing to will be given out, and the rhythms we will be practicing to will be included on the handouts. The music we will be working with will be available for sale.

Pop choreography with zill, and zill drills
1:00 - 3:00
Refreshing is how you will describe this zill choreography to a pop song off of the latest Nancy Atra cd. Refreshing starting from the innovative bellydance movements we will learn. Refreshing in that the zill patterns on top of the movements will challenge you at every moment. We will even work on playing the zills as a musical instrument. Indigo will keep this workshop light and fun and in the spirit of Arabic Pop. You will learn the movements and zill patterns thoroughly. Handouts of the zill patterns and an interpretation of the song so we all know the meaning of the words of the song we are dancing to. A dvd of the choreography may be available for sale at the workshop. The Nancy Atra cd we will be dancing to will be available for sale.

Bring zills (finger cymbals). Beginner zills will be available for sale.

Indigo is a popular professional performer in Seattle and teaches Bellydance classes regularly. Indigo has studied BellyDance intensively for 8 years and also has experience in yoga, pilates, ballet, modern & jazz dance. The classes will be fun and Indigo looks forward to sharing her knowledge. You can learn more about Indigo at www.indigodance.net

Drum workshop, basics and beyond with Jonathan Brummet
3:00 - 5:00
Introduction to middle eastern doumbek/arabic tabla: learning and understanding notation and tablature of middle eastern rhythms, understanding the dancer/drummer relationship, learn how to strike the drum correctly to produce "Dum" "Tek" and "Ka", introduction to the Riq and Zills. You will learn 3 core rhythms and get a practice packet of beats so you can continue your practice at home. Class is ideal for belly dancers and aspiring drummers, and will focus a lot on the fundamentals and technique of the instrument and it's origin.

Intermediate class: Adding rolls and flares to beats you already know, learn advanced tablature for slaps, rolls (finger rolls and open rolls), and pops. Learn more advance beats with 4/4, 6/4, and 9/8 time signatures. You should be able to name and play atleast 3 middle eastern beats before coming to this class, and be ready to learn more! This class is ideal for belly dancers and drummers alike, and will give you a good knowledge of some of the most popular rhythms used in middle eastern music.

Bring drums, water, pencil or pen, and smiling happy faces!

Summer Solstice Hafla
Performances and open dancing to transglobal music with dj bios+a+ic and special guest Jonathan Brummet (tablas). Potluck, bring some good eats, and drinks! Some snacks will be provided.

5:00 - 9:00
Sign up to dance! first come first served

$20 per dance workshop before June 15, $25 at door
$15, drum workshop before June 15, $20 at door
$8, hafla, $10 at door

Core Movement Studio (Mosaic Movement Arts)
1844 55th street
Boulder, CO

Vending, $30/table (bring your own), $5 per rack (bring your own)

http://www.raqsjawahir.com/workshops/indigoworkshop.htm

transistor - a semiconductor device, commonly used as an amplifier. The transistor is the fundamental building block of the circuitry that governs the operation of computers, cellular phones, and all other modern electronics.

transistor, an electronic music + art festival scheduled for Friday, June 1st (cd release /art opening), Friday, June 15th, and Saturday, June 16th, 2007 in Denver, CO, presented by symbolic insight. The mission is to fill a void in the Colorado music scene with an electronic music + art festival, which showcases local and national innovative artists, providing an outlet for community, networking, education, and fun for both the patrons and the performers.

transistor festival 2007 features live performances in three venues, Studio 52 Gallery, Launchpad Production Studio, and Tenn St Coffee. We are also having a featured art show at the gallery for June providing ambience and atmosphere.

Please support this community event! We hope to see you there. More information at http://www.symbolicinsight.com/transistor

yeah i know i'm always a downer these days when i post in lj. but this is the place i come when i feel the most desparate, alone, and hopeless. it seems like just when i start to build some momentum in my life it gets taken away by some vindictive asshole. there must be a reason i am attracting this. my intentions are for the whole, not for my ego, and yet somehow i keep getting pulled under, and smacked down. am i wrong? should i be all about ego? these guys seem to get ahead so much quicker and they also seem so proud of themselves, and uncaring whether they fuck people over. i feel like what's the freakin point. why go on. why am i here making so much effort trying to put so much positive energy into what i do and who i am only to be shot down every single time. what is the point!!!!!!!

vegans/vegetarians: what do you think of people who eat meat? do you hold it against them personally? or do you accept that that is the way they are, and that you simply are not that way? do you secretly think that you are more evolved? do you wish everyone in the world was vegan? or do you accept that there can be a balance between vegans and meat eaters? why are you veg?

meatasauruses: same questions...?

i am curious, there are no right answers. thanks.

Date:	2007-01-03 09:22
Subject:	some people live to be assholes!
Security:	Public
Mood:	angry

i got a new car! it's a subaru...and it's awesome in the snowstorms. i wish i could be happy but right now i can't get over this experience this morning. so i'm driving this new subaru with my old tags from my old car down to get it registered in boulder. i used those tags to get me there without getting pulled over. i get behind someone who wasn't going very fast...fine. i wasn't tailgating or anything, just tried a couple times to pass and then other cars were coming so i wasn't able to pass until about the 3rd try. so i passed them. then they flashed on their brights at me.

we get to the bottom of the mountain and they pull up next to me and start yelling at me telling me they are going to report me. they say i was tailgating...do i know what the speed limit is? ok, so they were going 35-40 and braking too much around the corners for my taste to be safe, so the speed limit is 45 there, i wanted to go 45-50. i was hanging back about 2 car lengths, not what i would call tailgating. i don't tailgate. i know this road so well i could drive it with my eyes closed. i passed them legally and no harm done. and they ride behind me with their brights on and then pull up right next to me to harrass me. tell me THAT isn't reckless! they took down my plate numbers (the wrong plates for that car by the way) and say they are reporting my reckless driving!

i was not reckless driving! if anything i was driving even more carefully so i wouldn't get pulled over! passing on a dotted yellow is perfectly legal! will the cops do anything about this? i'm kinda freakin out a little bit because of the wrong plates. i mean i went straight the the dmv and got my new plates so i can prove that was my intention all along. i have a perfect driving record. i can easily argue that these people are unreasonable if i did eventually get called into court. why do people live to expend negative energy toward other people? fuck them...go to hell assholes! and the thing that pisses me off the most is that i can't let it go...and that i am giving energy to the situation when i should just blow it off in the hopes that my positive attitude will make everything ok. but I CANT and that's probably exactly what they want. :(

i feel better than my last post, much better. i am in training for my thai massage certification. this therapy is amazing! i have to leave in a couple minutes but wanted to post something happy. anyone in boulder like to be a practice body for me? lemme know....

yeah that is all...i'm depressed. so i think i'll go hibernate for a while. so if you don't hear from me this is why. happy day of the dead...

Date:	2006-10-31 07:41
Subject:	it's samhain!
Security:	Public
Mood:	devious

my favorite favorite day of the year and i have not made any plans for the first time in my whole life...and i am not dressed up for the first time in my whole life. it would be easy to blame the baby but i know it's my own fault for working too much.

something will probably come up last minute where i'll have to dig in my closet for a half ass costume. or maybe a samhain ritual in which case i will just be witchy. that is kind of what i hope for. i haven't gone without a samhain ritual of some kind for years. last year we did a ritual out in a barn and it was all windy and samhain like...leaves blowing everywhere. it was very cool. and cold heh. terra was just 3 months old and she came with us. we joked she was our baby sacrifice. she was so into it even though we had about 15 layers over her to keep her warm. it was a very magical night.

today i have training from 9-1 and then a massage at 3:15 so that's why i'm not doing anything thus far. it's too damn early to think about doing anything at all except hopefully waking up! i can sleep in tomorrow so the universe will probably provide that ritual if i just look around when i'm done at work.

i've been getting up early a lot. next week i get my thai massage training, mon-wed 9-5 so more getting up early, then thursday i'm on the am schedule at the resort, friday working reception 9-5.. then the following week i get my advanced thai massage training mon-wed and then am on thurs again and reception on friday again. not to mention working sat and sun on the pm schedule both weeks. then i get monday and tuesday off. sigh...

wow, 2 whole weeks of getting up early. my 7 days a week of working is going out with a bang. it's like having a desk job again! when you look forward to fridays because saturday you get to sleep in except in my case there is no weekend. but at least it's not a crappy job that i hate, it's really fun training and doing bodywork. i love my job. but i'm tired. and now i better go get myself together and get to my training. funfunfunfunfun :)

HAPPY SAMHAIN!!!!!! HAPPY HALLOWEEN!!!!!!!!! HAPPY SUMMERS END!!!!!!!

Date:	2006-10-28 01:40
Subject:	she poops!
Security:	Public
Mood:	proud

terra pooped on the potty today. pictures will be coming (i know someone was requesting potty pictures but can't remember who). it was her first time :) i am so proud of my poopy monkey!!

i signed up for youtube http://www.youtube.com/user/jawahirbahiya

Date:	2006-10-26 14:50
Subject:	defying death
Security:	Public
Mood:	crazy

i once again managed to remain alive today. i am staying home, called in to work for the first time EVER. i woke up to four feet of snow on my car. i spent a half hour straight doing backbreaking labor to dig it out. it was buried. and then i couldn't get out of my driveway. my friend joe came by asking if i need help and i said fuck it i am calling in! this is crazy! so i am home, feeling somewhat guilty for not going to work, and disappointing my 9 am appointment...i think that might be some kind of psychosis. feeling bad for not dying for a stupid massage and not making it anyway. what is wrong with me!! so anyway am alive even though my power is threatening to die and freeze us all now!!! yikes! WTF IT IS ONLY OCTOBER!!! maybe it IS time to move! fuck this!